Mother's Day a year later...

I am still blessed with a loving family. Alex and Claire are busy highschoolers. Justin and Audra are together in their own apartment and have added to the family. I have my first grandbaby, Gemma Nicole. She is the most adorable baby on Earth. I love her sweet smiles and goos. I am trying to get her to say Grandma since she has already got the 'G' sound down. I am knitting her lots of things.
I still miss Nicole. I was blessed to have her for as long as I did. Life is not and will never be the same without her.

Happy Mother's Day all!

Mother's Day 2010

Today I count my blessings. Justin, Alex and Claire are beautiful, intelligent, healthy, involved children. Audra has become a cherished member of the family as well. Though it all feels precarious with Nicole gone and my husband relocating for work for the time being. I hope all goes well for him. I hope we fare well too. As essentially a single parent again, I'll have to stay on my toes.
I really have so much to be thankful for. Friends and family have helped me get this far. I am indebted to them for their love and support. I have a steady job even if it has become harder and we've had a pay cut. We have a home. I am blessed.
Happy Mother's Day!

Spring Break is not too soon...

Here it is Spring already. I went back to work in December. Work is something to do, though stressful. Life is a whirlwind. It's all too much. Grief ebbs and flows through the days. I miss my baby. I feel lucky that I got to spend her life with her, but I still want more. Justin, Alex and Claire are wonderful children so I have a reason to still be here. It's joyful to see them progress and experience their lives. I am as lucky to be able to spend time with them. I'll just never fill the hole in my heart.

So I am planning to have a little fun for Spring Break. I've got lots to do too. The kids are playing musical bedrooms. Time to clean, paint and move furniture. Justin and Audra are fixing up the Carriage House to stay in. I want to finish painting our Spinning Headquarters and have a meet up next Sunday. I need to go to Laguna to throw a red glass heart into the sea. I'll be driving my new car with the top down if the weather permits. I hope to visit my brother and sister-in-law in San Diego too. Maybe I'll even do a little work in the yard. I am just so glad to have some time off again.

Giving Thanks

This was my hardest Thanksgiving ever. No Holiday will ever be the same without Nicole. All I have ever wanted for holidays was to have all my children home and safe. It was hard when Justin was in Afghanistan, but this is so much worse. There is a huge hole in my heart that will never be filled.
It's strange the way such acute pain can highlight the love felt for those still here. I am so blessed to have my family and friends. So many rallied around me to help me through Thanksgiving. Audra came over to bake cookies, Alex had the house full of friends, Em came to check on me, Claire secretly invited her, Takara tried to enfold us in her family's love to get us through and my brother's family Rick, Monica and Melissa hosted us at their first Thanksgiving ever in their house. We were bombarded with Thanksgiving greetings, by e-mail and snail mail. It was a wonderful couple of days. I am grateful for the loves in my life here and gone. I was so lucky to have had my parents and daughter even if I will not get more time with them. They were so amazing. I am so much the better for having known them and still loving them.
Happy Thanksgiving my friends.

Happy 16th Alex!!!

I don't know how the time has gone so fast. You were a happy, funny baby. Now a young man. I am excited to watch you grow and curious to see where your interests and achievements will take you. You make me proud. I love you <3

Happy Birthday my precious Nicole

We celebrated your life with your friends today. We all wish you were here with us. I am glad to be getting to know the people you loved and loved you better.
I miss you. It is so unfair I only had you for 25 years. I was so looking forward to the coming years as you continued to bloom. You were an amazing young woman. I couldn't wait to see where your potential would take you. You were so smart and beautiful. I wanted to have the time to hang out and just be together. Your absence leaves such an enormous hole in our lives. The world is poorer without you. Your spirit was inspiring. No one will ever forget you. I love you my darling girl.

Been in the Woods for a Week

We are still settling in. Lots of things to do. The boys have jobs now. This is their 3rd day. They are working at a Riding Stable. This is supposed to be a busy weekend. It's rained every day they have worked so far. They get there at 8 am and have been coming home about 12ish. The people running the place are going to give them riding lessons and show them the ins and outs of being a guide when they take tourists out on the trail. I would have loved that as a first job. They are doing some shoveling too. After all they are the new guys and there is tons of "fertilizer" in a horse barn...

Went yard sale-ing yesterday. Came home with a bicycle and a boat. The boys negotiated a deal on an 8 foot dinghy which we had to carry back to camp in the Expedition. Needless to say there was very little room for the kids on the way back. Alex and Mike squeezed themselves around the boat to get home. Alex literally was draped across the bottom of the boat (it was upside down). Fun stuff. I posted a picture on my Facebook page.

Happy 4th of July everybody. Hope your adventures are as good as the ones we're having at the moment.
Love Ya!!!

We've Driven Off the Map!

We drove into camp early this morning after driving most of the night and taking a nap at a service area about 20 minutes from Utica. We didn't want to get to the grocery store too early and get hassled by security waiting for it to open. Besides, I was really tired. Nobody was at their best when we did get to the grocery store before 6 am and found that it was open 24 hours a day. Anyway, we stocked up and headed to camp a bit more than an hour from there. It rained on the way, but not hard. It is such a heady experience driving closer and closer, the smell of the balsam and pines perfuming the way. My eyes dilate to soak in the green. I LOVE trees! We don't have enough of them in Southern California. They aren't lush like these either.
I guess we are now officially off the map until we come into town to get on the internet. Through Otter Lake and after Old Forge our GPS signal failed. Our cell phones don't work here either. So I guess, we are officially off the map for the summer. You may see me sporadically here. If you don't, Have a Great Summer!!!

Lightning and downpour in Indiana!

Morning update- It is clear a muggy this morning for our trip to Cleveland and the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame.

We had a long day today, driving from Claremore (near Tulsa) Oklahoma to Richmond, Indiana at the Ohio border. The last couple of hours we were treated to a light show as we drove. We finally had enough driving and got off the road to get a hotel. The lightning was a little closer. By the time we were parked and got to the room the rain was coming down in torents and I was trying to get the kids inside before someone got hit by lightning. We were all soaked in a few feet and climbing the steps. Then the power blew. We watched the storm from the room and were really glad we'd stopped when we did. What excitement!

As far as Tucumcari...

We got into Tucumcari last night and stayed in a quaint little motel with the pool filled in with cement and a smell in the room. I wonder if I am just used to it or having the air conditioning on all night has made the smell go away. Kids are still sleeping. but I'll need to wake them soon. We'll be getting into Texas once we get moving and going on to my cousin's in Claremore, OK by the end of the day...I think. We're still open for a side trip if we think of one. I think we're all still having fun.

Our Expedition Begins..

Off we go!

GPS tracking powered by InstaMapper.com





We got as far as Flagstaff tonight. Had dinner at In-N-Out in Arizona. Snacks in the hotel. Looks like the Rock Slide State Park is towards Sedona. Planning on doing that tomorrow... good night.