Giving Thanks

This was my hardest Thanksgiving ever. No Holiday will ever be the same without Nicole. All I have ever wanted for holidays was to have all my children home and safe. It was hard when Justin was in Afghanistan, but this is so much worse. There is a huge hole in my heart that will never be filled.
It's strange the way such acute pain can highlight the love felt for those still here. I am so blessed to have my family and friends. So many rallied around me to help me through Thanksgiving. Audra came over to bake cookies, Alex had the house full of friends, Em came to check on me, Claire secretly invited her, Takara tried to enfold us in her family's love to get us through and my brother's family Rick, Monica and Melissa hosted us at their first Thanksgiving ever in their house. We were bombarded with Thanksgiving greetings, by e-mail and snail mail. It was a wonderful couple of days. I am grateful for the loves in my life here and gone. I was so lucky to have had my parents and daughter even if I will not get more time with them. They were so amazing. I am so much the better for having known them and still loving them.
Happy Thanksgiving my friends.

Happy 16th Alex!!!

I don't know how the time has gone so fast. You were a happy, funny baby. Now a young man. I am excited to watch you grow and curious to see where your interests and achievements will take you. You make me proud. I love you <3

Happy Birthday my precious Nicole

We celebrated your life with your friends today. We all wish you were here with us. I am glad to be getting to know the people you loved and loved you better.
I miss you. It is so unfair I only had you for 25 years. I was so looking forward to the coming years as you continued to bloom. You were an amazing young woman. I couldn't wait to see where your potential would take you. You were so smart and beautiful. I wanted to have the time to hang out and just be together. Your absence leaves such an enormous hole in our lives. The world is poorer without you. Your spirit was inspiring. No one will ever forget you. I love you my darling girl.

Been in the Woods for a Week

We are still settling in. Lots of things to do. The boys have jobs now. This is their 3rd day. They are working at a Riding Stable. This is supposed to be a busy weekend. It's rained every day they have worked so far. They get there at 8 am and have been coming home about 12ish. The people running the place are going to give them riding lessons and show them the ins and outs of being a guide when they take tourists out on the trail. I would have loved that as a first job. They are doing some shoveling too. After all they are the new guys and there is tons of "fertilizer" in a horse barn...

Went yard sale-ing yesterday. Came home with a bicycle and a boat. The boys negotiated a deal on an 8 foot dinghy which we had to carry back to camp in the Expedition. Needless to say there was very little room for the kids on the way back. Alex and Mike squeezed themselves around the boat to get home. Alex literally was draped across the bottom of the boat (it was upside down). Fun stuff. I posted a picture on my Facebook page.

Happy 4th of July everybody. Hope your adventures are as good as the ones we're having at the moment.
Love Ya!!!

We've Driven Off the Map!

We drove into camp early this morning after driving most of the night and taking a nap at a service area about 20 minutes from Utica. We didn't want to get to the grocery store too early and get hassled by security waiting for it to open. Besides, I was really tired. Nobody was at their best when we did get to the grocery store before 6 am and found that it was open 24 hours a day. Anyway, we stocked up and headed to camp a bit more than an hour from there. It rained on the way, but not hard. It is such a heady experience driving closer and closer, the smell of the balsam and pines perfuming the way. My eyes dilate to soak in the green. I LOVE trees! We don't have enough of them in Southern California. They aren't lush like these either.
I guess we are now officially off the map until we come into town to get on the internet. Through Otter Lake and after Old Forge our GPS signal failed. Our cell phones don't work here either. So I guess, we are officially off the map for the summer. You may see me sporadically here. If you don't, Have a Great Summer!!!

Lightning and downpour in Indiana!

Morning update- It is clear a muggy this morning for our trip to Cleveland and the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame.

We had a long day today, driving from Claremore (near Tulsa) Oklahoma to Richmond, Indiana at the Ohio border. The last couple of hours we were treated to a light show as we drove. We finally had enough driving and got off the road to get a hotel. The lightning was a little closer. By the time we were parked and got to the room the rain was coming down in torents and I was trying to get the kids inside before someone got hit by lightning. We were all soaked in a few feet and climbing the steps. Then the power blew. We watched the storm from the room and were really glad we'd stopped when we did. What excitement!

As far as Tucumcari...

We got into Tucumcari last night and stayed in a quaint little motel with the pool filled in with cement and a smell in the room. I wonder if I am just used to it or having the air conditioning on all night has made the smell go away. Kids are still sleeping. but I'll need to wake them soon. We'll be getting into Texas once we get moving and going on to my cousin's in Claremore, OK by the end of the day...I think. We're still open for a side trip if we think of one. I think we're all still having fun.

Our Expedition Begins..

Off we go!

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We got as far as Flagstaff tonight. Had dinner at In-N-Out in Arizona. Snacks in the hotel. Looks like the Rock Slide State Park is towards Sedona. Planning on doing that tomorrow... good night.

Prepping to Leave for Camp!

It's getting close. The car is getting it's last touches/repairs for the trip. I am procrastinating getting my laundry done. I guess we'll all be trying to get everything done at once. Today is the planned day for getting the car carrier and Swing-Away out and ready. The kids are starting to get excited. I guess my oldest daughter will get to join us this trip too. It'll be good to spend some time with her. Lots of catch up work around the house to try to get to. Some more driving practice on the freeway in the Expedition with loaded weight for my son. We have a birthday party for my youngest daughter to get through Friday, Father's Day and Summer Birthday dinner Sunday, orthodontist appointment on Monday then ON THE ROAD!
I wish everyone was going but Paul needs to work and Justin has other things going on. Besides someone needs to look after the house. Hopefully they'll come out before we leave. Paul will probably fly in to drive us home. It's usually quite a haul on the way home. It's strange to be starting out without them.
I finished knitting a bag for the trip. I just have to felt it now. I need to get what I want to work on this summer organized. I would so like to work on some glass flame working but that is just too much equipment to have to take along. I don't know what Jewelry making stuff would be appropriate either.
Time to start packing...

Summer Vacation Starts Today!

So Close I Can Almost Taste It!

Only three days left of the school year! With students that is. I have to take everything down, pack it up, clean and get my paperwork in. One day extra to check out and I'm FREE!!!! From that kind of work anyway. Appointments, car service, household upkeep, and driving back East will keep me really busy!

A New Life

Mother's Day

Here it is the wee hours of Mother's Day. My family is dreaming in their beds as I decide what to do for the day. I will be rousing them in a couple of hours for a trek to the beach so that I can have breakfast with all the most important people in my life. The ones that make Mother's Day meaningful. Have I told you they are amazing people? Each is so different, yet completely my favorite. It seems contradictory to have more than one favorite. It just seems to fit how I feel about them. My beautiful children. Each with their own perfect heart and mind. Each with their own set of talents. They have such potential. I hope I get to see the astounding turns their lives will take. I am blessed to be their mother.

Music in the House and Flowers in the Garden

Seems as though everyone is happy. The end of the school year is approaching with all of the activities that go with that. My daughter is graduating from Middle School, so there will be a semi-formal dance and trip to an amusement park. Awards assemblies are planned for band and drama. My son is still working on scuba lessons. He missed a couple having a fever for a week so we'll have to go down to Huntington Beach for him to catch up.
I have guitar lessons on Mondays and knitting on Wednesdays and Saturdays when nothing interferes.I am walking with my friend on Thursdays and husband on Sundays. Hope to start meeting with a meditation group on Thursdays too. Busy is happy, right?

Maybe it is fast enough...

!00 degrees in Redlands for the past couple of days. I want summer here, but too much too fast isn't good either. My plants need a watering system. Everything is a mess in the irrigation department.

Summer is Coming, but Not Fast Enough

It's got to be in the high 80s today already. It's lovely, but too hot to work in the yard. It makes me want to hit the road for New York. It's routinely still hitting the 30s at night there though. I guess I'll have to wait a little longer. And I do have a job and all.
One more week until standardized testing at my school. One week of testing, then 4 more weeks to keep the lid on until summer. I've got such an 'interesting' class this year. I am not looking forward to any of it.

Easter Rocks!

Just had Easter dinner that I made. Ham with cherry pineapple apricot sauce, asparagus, au gratin potatoes, fresh berries with ladyfingers. Yum!!!! What do you call a mimosa with pina colada juice instead of orange? Or one with pomegranate blueberry juice? Because that is what I am enjoying now.
It's a beautiful spring day! The windows and doors are open. We rearranged the living room a bit. It feels like I could take control of my home again!
I get to spend the day with my family. My daughter is coming to stay over tonight. I'll make salmon for when she gets here. We played some of the player piano rolls. Hubby is out in the Carriage House playing his new amp and guitar. I wish I could always feel like this, happy and hopeful.
Have a wonderful Easter!

SPRING BREAK!!!!!!!

What a Wonderful Reunion!

I am in heaven. I had such a terrific visit with my cousin and his daughter. It has been years since we've seen each other. Our daughters were toddlers the last time.
His brother hosted a couple of delicious dinners at his house and we ran around like crazy for the time we had. It may take all week for the adults to catch up on their sleep. The kids seem just fine if a little sad it's over.
We went to Victoria Gardens for shopping, The Hip Kitty in Claremont to watch Mark play guitar and sing,. Laguna Beach for fun in the sun and more shopping, then back to Mark's for lobster and pasta. Yummm.
It went so fast though. I hope we get to do it again soon.

Days Full of Green!

Spring is arriving. The fields are green and rain and snow are falling in the mountains. The cloud formations are gorgeous. There is such promise in the air. The teenagers are busy. Heck, we're all busy. Tomorrow one going to play rehearsal and the other for kayaking at the beach and who gets to do the driving and waiting? I just love the green though. We don't have it for long in Southern California. We're in low desert so our Spring is a transition from an unseasonably warm January(seems it happens like this every year) to back and forth swings from gorgeous soul warming 80s to back to the 30s. We've even had scorching temperatures in the 100s some years by March/April. Of course that burns the tender green of new shoots and they never come back quite the same. By May it will be tan and brown again. I am drinking in the green since I know how temporary it all is. Cycle of life and all. It is completely rich though, isn't it.

Off to San Diego

I don't know how I ended up here really. I never wanted to leave San Diego. I just couldn't get started working there. Now I've been gone so long it's weird to go back. Well, at least since I haven't really got a place to stay anymore. I was there all the time when my parents were still around. Now I hardly get there at all. I miss San Diego so much.
So we are making the yearly trek to the Big 3 swap meet at Qualcom Stadium. It's a bunch of old cars and motorcycles and the accompanying classic clothing and props. It's kind of fun for a day. We're just doing one day this year. The kids are bringing friends to hang out with. We'll see some old friends from the days when my parents were members of the car clubs, some cool old cars and lots of stuff. It's just not the same though.

Cool Overcast Sunday

Just got back from a walk with Paul. It's beautiful out, though a bit cloudy. Perfect weather for a walk. The snow in the mountains is gorgeous and it's nice to have some moisture in the air. Haven't done much this weekend. We did have friends over Friday. It motivated the family to help straighten and vacuum. It was nice to start the weekend with a semi-clean house. It puts a more pleasant twist on the whole thing.
Went knitting at Yarn Deli Saturday. The ladies are all getting ready to go to Stitches West this coming weekend. I wanted to go but think I should go down to the Big 3 in San Diego with the family instead. So maybe next year( I think it was the same thing last year. Stitches and The Big 3 are on the same weekend.) This year we are trying to unload some cars and find wheels for Alex's Model T. You should check out his blog, Fix the T. He's trying to get it rebuilt to drive cross country to New York next year.
Went on a date with my husband. I can't even remember when we last went out together. We've been raising kids the entire time we have been together and have not given the time we need to to maintain our relationship. The kids are definitely old enough now to take care of themselves for long periods of time. And we need to take the time to repair our relationship due to the lack of communication we have been in the habit of. We had a pretty pleasant date. It's nice to take the evening off from the usual responsibilities. We took that walk together this morning too. I am hopeful.
May be heading to Laguna to help my daughter with her sewing machine. It's cool she is designing clothing. That was my favorite thing to do when I was young. I wanted to be a fashion designer growing up. She avoided doing anything I like while she was growing up. It's nice to have a common interest now.

Near miss

Have to say I am glad everything is worked out for the time being. Relationships do take maintenance. I know what my limit is because I was right there. I am feeling cared for again and have new resolve to enjoy my life. I am enjoying my friends and family. I am working towards goals and Paul is too. I've decided to take guitar lessons and to that end I have begun trying to toughen my fingertipa and learn a few chords. Still knitting, though trying to spend more time walking as well. It can be hard at times, but life is good.

FaceBook

I have been having so much fun using my FaceBook account lately. I've had the account for a long time, but until my cousin found me on it, then I found a close family friend, and then a couple of friends from work I really wasn't doing much with it. Now I have the app on my i-phone and get notified whenever anyone posts. I am sending good karma to friends and have more of a reason to go through the boxes and boxes of photos I have from my childhood. It's kind of like revisiting people I used to know and have sorely missed. It's also remembering who I was long before who I am. I get a chance to reconnect those parts of myself that have been left behind while growing up. Maybe not left behind, but not expressed in a long time. It feels great!
Due to my cousin's question about a picture I posted I have also found another cousin (on MySpace) and learned that my uncle is still alive and living in the same town as he was 11 years ago when we stopped hearing from him and our mail was returned. So I am sure an interesting story or two in our lives will come from all of this.

Magellan Needs Torture

Our cat Magellan is quite the character. Usually my alarm goes off at five and I need a couple of minutes to rouse myself. Magellan has taken it upon himself to make sure that people get up. He comes into the room and starts to sharpen his claws on the corner of the bed. This, of course, rouses me to chase him away. I don't want the bed ruined! If you get quiet again he comes back for more. It used to be just my room and about 5-5:30-ish. This week he's taken to walking over me at about 4:30, then waiting patiently til about 5 to scratch and get me to chase him. Of course I can't go back to sleep again after he's walked on me, is purring, and sitting there watching me.
He's also taken to doing this to other family members. No one wants him in their room anymore. My son had to lock him in the shower one night to be able to sleep. Don't get me wrong. He is a very nice cat. He is just a pain in the morning. He tears around here like a maniac once we all come down. My husband carries him around like a baby and fusses over him constantly so there's no wonder he thinks he runs the place. Well now I'm up...I've taken a nice long whirlpool bath, dressed and am about to go for a walk. I've been able to enjoy the house before anyone else is up. Thanks Magellan. The thing is, today I could have slept in...

Old friends and family

This week has been a heartwarming one for me. I've started using Facebook. I've been in contact with two important people from my past. My cousin who I always wished was my twin and my friend I grew up with. Their memories of me when I was younger have shifted my perspective of who I am now. Changes are in the works. :)
Went to Market Night tonight. The weather was perfect for it. Bought wonderful breads and fruits and veggies. Haven't been in a while. It wasn't very crowded. It gets so crowded through late spring and summer. I am so glad I went. My daughter went and walked around with friends and nobody else wanted to go. I was on my own to wander. I like it.

Still Painting...Walls

Why does everything seem to go in slow motion? I still have to do another coat to put on the bathroom walls and ceiling. Probably won't have time 'til next weekend again. It would be so nice to have everything done and put back together. I am starting to think that I'll always live in chaos.
Tomorrow some students are interviewing me and taking pics for the yearbook. They want a quote. I wanted to come up with something cool. Maybe I'll have to borrow from my quote book... I wonder where that is. It was right next to my desk all last year. I don't think I unpacked it this year.
The boys were all gone this weekend. Hubby and youngest son fixing trains in Campo, and oldest son doing his Army reserve duty. Can't say I used the time particularly well, but did enjoy the space. Next weekend is a 3-day. Maybe I can finish upstairs and get downstairs started. Maybe it would be even better if I set up my watercolors.

"Vacation" Wrap-Up

UuuuHuhhhhhhhh..... That's the sound of the deep breath I just took thinking of getting ready to go back to work tomorrow. I still have one more painting session before I am done with the bathroom and need to move a vanity up there, hang the shower curtain, mirrors, towel bars, hooks, and toilet paper hook. Not to mention clean it all and getting the toiletries to their usable places. I should do it now, but I need to sit for a couple minutes after getting back from shopping for most of mentioned items to hang.
I'm going to have to get my husband to reattach the cabinets he took down so I could see what was behind them. I think we may have to add a washer and dryer up there. There are all the hook-ups behind the cabinets along with at least another foot of space. When I saw the extra space behind the cabinets, I though Yippee, maybe we have room for a closet. It's not quite enough for that. We could however, repurpose a couple of the cabinets and replace them with a washer and dryer. I'd love to have a steaming washer/dryer for delicates and all. I am afraid, it might end up a problem with laundry being left in the bathroom. I'll have to think about it a while.
This "vacation" was too short. The holidays were great, but I just started on some of the things I need to get done. I didn't even start on my bedroom. I prepared to start work on the downstairs bathroom, but never finished the upstairs. I just hope my son is bored enough the rest of the week to work on scraping the texture off the walls. That way maybe I could get started with the painting next weekend. My son doesn't have to go back to school til next Monday. I am so jealous. What I could do with that time.
I did go to lunch with my friend today. It put a nice touch on my last free day for a while.

In With 2009

Wow, the first day of the New Year is over already. Where did it go?
We had a lovely evening with friends New Year's Eve. Drank champagne and made lots of noise at midnight.

Projects are going on for a fresh start. My daughter is prepping her room to paint. She's really cleared out a lot of "stuff". I'd really like to get a few things done around here before I go back to work on the 6th. I really want to get a new car too. I've been trying to get hubby to sell a couple of the projects cars we have sitting around here doing no one any good, but he's dragged his feet for this long I guess I'll have to do it. Out with the old, right? Really need to clear the decks in my room and finish the bathrooms for my sanity.

I've been pulling out my sewing machines and organizing the supplies so that I can use them. Even went down to the sewing machine shop to have them show me again how to thread my serger. Maybe I can use it now!
Have been organizing my yarn where I can get to some of it too (and not have it all just piled up around my chair in the living room.) Finished one pair of socks while visiting my daughter in Laguna. I cast on several socks and some fingerless mitts on New Year's Eve. Now to get with it and get them done.
I dyed a couple of sock blanks pinks and reds for Valentine's day projects. I want to get started on them soon too.
My heartfelt New Year's wish for everyone is a year filled with abundance, aspiration, and love. Have a wonderful year!